Saturday, April 30, 2005
The decision had been made...although it hurts me more than anyone will ever know i will follow it den...there is onli two options...i guess the one has already been chosen long ago...chasing ur dreams n cherishing hopes onli get u burnt in the end...will never ever make the same mistake ever again...learnt a lesson the hard way dat the more feelings u show easily the worse it is...physical pain is nothing compared to wad it feels like now...never had i felt like dis n i will make sure i never have to go through this again...did all i could but since there is nothin i can do now i guess the ending is inevitable...fate played a cruel joke on me dis time...fuck it...y even gave the glimmer of hope in the first place??It just hurt so much more...i wished i never knew anything at the starting den i wont even get my hopes up...to let them be smashed down like dis...i cant blame anyone for dis but then there always have to be somebody who is in the wrong so i guess the problem resulted from me...i just wished i knew wads the problem n can change it all...i guess its too late to say anything now...its over for me i guess..no matter how painful it is the fact remains...
Life will have to go on...i have no choice but to...living a meaningless life now wif nothin to live for..to look forward to...i guess dis is the begining for the future den...i will never be able to forget this for the whole of my life...its impossible to...but i can onli try to block n forget this painful experience den...to all those who still believes in fairy tales of happy ending let me tell u the truth: ITS ALL BULLSHIT!! i used to believe in dat once...but now after facing the truth den did i realise how wrong i was...since its not meant to be den i cant do anythin bout it...let time heal my wounds n erase as much as possible den...onli thing that i can live to do now is to study n gym....nothin matters anymore...i should be happy but im not...how can i be??
I made my mistake of showing my emotions n feelings hence cause me all dis...i guess thats y i can onli blame myself...take care of urself den...i wont be able to do so for u now...
My feelings for u cannot be shown,
But the pain i felt hurts to the bones...
To cherish a hope dat seem so slim,
That it almost seems like onli a dream...
Yet u brought my hopes up till so high,
Till it seems to be able to touch the sky...
But u let it drop till it hits the floor,
Smashing my hopes to pieces so small...
I drift between the two differant paths,
Till ur answer sets my heart apart...
Now the choice have been made,
Turning my dreams to dust n all just fade...
Friday, April 29, 2005
Big sighs + small sighs...how to solve something that seems to have no solution to it...solution cannot be found cause there is nothin dat i can do...i was always ready for it...but not in this way...my idea of how things are going...was not like dis...cant say its anyone's fault so i guess its just either the way of life or fate just playing wif me...doing nothing at this time will not help in anyway yet there aint nothin i can do so how to get out of spot?? Advice from others are no help to me...some say do nothin while others just tell me to give it up n accept the fact...how can i give up something dat wasnt there??...if i am to give up y was i even given the hope at the starting to carry on my stupid dillusions...
Keep being told by many ppl on train still no result then train for wad...is it really the truth??Am i really unable to achieve anything i want even though i work hard for it??Must i really lose out in everything i set my mind on doing??...I know i cant be as good as u ppl out there who dont have my problems n everything just goes well for u all...but so wad if im differant??Cant u just let me train without ur put downs??U ppl might be better than me for now...but when i train n get my results we shall see then...This is the last time im believeing in hard work pays off...im placing everything i got onto gym training den...the saying that u reap the results that u sow...time to put it to the test...If it still fails me den i realli dunno wad to do liao...let this be my last time i place my faith in anymore thing den...with the starting of intake of supplements now...i hope my faith can be restored back by gettting results...
Prelims have already started...english paper one went by just like dat but didnt realli feel anything for it...how can i concentrate on my studies wif all my problems bothering me??My troubles are like a heavy burden bringing me down...when can i be free from them i wonder??....
Prelims have already started but how can i do my studies when my problems are weighing me down till i keep losing my concentration...
Thursday, April 28, 2005
To not know wad to do but know that there is something that is needed to be done...a glimpse of hope here n there but like always the shutter shuts down the beams of hopes n leave darkness in its wake...how i wished there wasnt the first false hope given dat causes more hopes to rise...to be brought up but to fall from it...how many ppl wil understand how it feels??Im now helpless...not being able to do anything on my side to change anything...emotions n feelings have to hide in myself so as not to go through the feeling again..."
aint no one in the globe i would like to see,the gal dat made me so happy but now so lonely..." everytime i hear the song lonely by akon...just could relate to wad its about...sighs...cant be help anyway...life is like dat used to it by now...with nothing dat is in my control now...wad else can i do??
Prelims start tml...english paper one to set things off...some reason just dun feel anything for this test now...too many thoughts occupying my concentration...too many feelings i have to deal wif...stress getting more n more...wonder how long i can keep dis up...feeling so weary...just wished i can take a long rest away from everything...sighs...guess like cramming the books to study is the onli way now...shall try my best to just focus everything on studies n gym...rest of the stuffs will block it out den...no choice but to since its no longer my choice...
Went to parkway today to get protein supplements for the first time wif felix...guess like dis is the turning point for me as i had initially planned to onli start using them onli starting from june but since nowadays going to gym very frequently to workout,destress n forget bout everything so decided heck shall just do it now...since im going to do it anyway sooner wont hurt...wasted a whole lot of my gold though so currently super broke but guess like its a sacrifice dat i have to pay den...gym is becoming a place where i enjoy going most throughout the days...the onli thing dat keeps me going on...i guess i got stuck on it n now using it as a motivation for the rest of my stuff it has somehow become a new path for me...if all fails me like it is starting to i guess there is always the gym i can turn to after all its the onli thing dat has not yet to betray me in anyway...
Saturday, April 23, 2005
Everyone normally have something or someone that they hold close to n regard as most important in their life dat brings along happiness to dem...im no differant from the rest...but its not better to have nothing to start off wif den to be given a little hope but just to get it dashed in the end...the harshness of life is dat many a times many just dun understand dis point...the saying once bitten twice shy will show for how a person who had undergo through it tends to change after that..feelings become gaurded so as not to go through the same suffering of having high hopes just to be unable to achive anything in the end...im onli human...i feel the same emotions as every other person does...i do want to be happy n all but sometimes it just quite impossible wif all the supressed emotions that are kept inside...have tried to hold it back from everyone n not to show it as much as possible but still sometimes it just can be helped...frustration anger confusion...all these just surface out n just causes even more problem...used to think dat just by having the one person that can bring joy n happiness in my life will be enough...but even dat is slipping away...can anyone understand how it actually feels to be placed in this sort of situation...
Studies stress is comming up real fast wif prelims on friday...major cramming starts now...but studies comes hard wif problems n emotional heartache propping up...i guess im just a failure to be unable to concentrate n do well on wad im suppose to do...cant use the word dat life sucks...dats not totally true...maybe im just doing the wrong things in my life n screwing it up myself without knowing...life seems to have no appeal nowadays...nothing to look forward to after happiness has been taken away n is gradually gaining a distance from me...i rather take back everything i said n keep everything to myself should i know dis will happen...wished i did dat in the start so none of dis would have ever happened...guess next time i should just bottle everything up n not let anyone know den...sighs...
My career of softball after four years have finally ended today...felt a mix of emotions after the last match today...sad to leave but yet mix with happiness that made it through so far...didnt know i will feel like dis...maybe im just getting too sentimental dis days...shall see if i shall continue to play softball but even if i did it will be another new chapter of my life to start off wif again...
Gym is like the onli place i can go to nowadays just to forget bout everything for a short period of time n just to concentrate totally n taking everything out by forcing the body to perform...results are aching body but with the pain comes the gain of becoming stronger too...shall gym n forget my troubles den afterall no one in the world can understand wad im goign through...those that claims to understand r just lying cause they never do...they think they do but no...
U made me so happy but now u just leave me feeling lonely....
Lonely...Im still Lonely...mister lonely...
I have nobody
To call my own...
How dis few lines sums up how im feeling...may god take a break from screwing me up n let me lead a normal life for once...sighs...
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Wad a busy day i had rushing to differant places...woke up in the morning n watch the last episode of gundam seed...ahhh it was quite sad the ending seeing so many ppl dying n so many mobile suits destroyed...but nvm its just a cartoon though although it was a very good one...rushed to jun zhi's house right after the show end den saw my dad on my way to jun zhi's house at kovan...he asked me where i was going n i told him i was going for my match at R.I den i proceed on...jun zhi's mum fetch me jun zhi n kai shou to R.I but took quite a while as we dun realli know where it is onli know that it is near junction 8...finally when we reach there it started raining...-.- we had to throw ball in the grandstand to warm up n the area we are allowed to throw ball in have a breadth of three feet per person!!Its like throwing ball wif two other balls comming to n fro whizzing by ur ears on ur left n right cause there aint enough space n we all have to throw is such a compact area...match was cancelled in the end though due to rain -.- ...went off to jason house after that to go gym...his house is at costa rica the very end of the kallang 158 bus route...pengz...but nvm for the sake of a lil gym so just go ba..cause will have someone to train wif me at least better than going to kallang gym all by myself...me n jason drank two bottles one before n one after we went gym...was thristy den he said he got beer so im like y not once a while drink wont hurt so drank it den..did mainly a lil arms here n there den making jason do wif me too...although he didnt realli follow on n do but at least got someone to gym wif me can liao la i think...forearms did a lil same as biceps den jason didnt want to do anymore so went back to his house where he played gb...i haven play gb for more than half a year but tried n to my surprise my gauging was not as off as i thought i will be...still can do some decent ultra high angle shots... :) rushed home after that n got caught in the rain...entered my house showered,changed,take money,make my hair n i have to zoom out again cause meeting allester,amanda,besely,randall,nick to celebrate amanda's bday...rushed out again in the rain just to make it to the mrt...yet dat panda still can blame me sia for being late.. -.- eh i already zoom so fast liao lor...hectic day lei...was tried out n a lil sick at that time again...stupid cough n flu came back after running through the rain before i reached home so i brought my jacket out wif me...during the show though panda have to take away my jacket saying shes cold n sick den leaev me there freezing...the theatre was a lil empty so i get to stretch my feet by placing my leg down the next row...ahhh end up my toes were frozen at the end of the show n felt the pins n neeedles feeling when walking =.= the show was not too scary i think...cause was spending most of the time talking,msging n making lil statements here n there during the show...advice to ppl dun watch samara...its not worth ur time if u go n dun have a fun group to waste ur time during the show...
After watchign the show went walking around looking for a place to eat dinner as most of us are low on gold we ended up going to kfc...ate a shrooms burger meal cause have to watch my diet was eating a lil too much liao the whole day den i dun want to turn fat sia...oh n there was a lot of talk bout bleahz paul n some not so nice but funny comments made on cry*** haha...yucks didnt know dat paul was GAY!!!most of the time i just thought he was spastic,retarded,stupid,dumb,ass,etc... the whole list too long to go on la...but ya...found out omg he is a GAY!!!Went walking around for a while after we ate n walk to supreme court there to sit for a while n talk...trying to convince besely to gym but sigh..a lil hard again...same case as wif zhe yuan...is it realli so hard to show ppl the good sides of gyming??nick had stommache n keep having to go toilet to relieve himself the poor guy...plus the fact that he is revolting against his parents n got his da change the lock of the house meaning to lock him out!!Cant believe some of the advice that they gave to nick some...randall n panda was like siding wif nick to run away!!!jeez talk about bad influence...in the end i hope nick dun get into trouble wif his parents...reached home at around twelve thrity i think tired out...
Ahh luckily sunday was the next day n super slack...was watching cartoons in the morning n after that slept for a long time until my dad made us go help wash one of his buses claiming that we haven helped out for a long time...ahh the heat of the sun at that time was almost unbearable...ate a lot the whole day so goign to do crunches later to burn those fats i took in just now...not watching the nkf show thingy liao...dis year cant afford to call anyway after the way i spend my money for the past few weeks...need to save a bit for many things...ahhh...going to do a lil weights now den study liao...i guess dis is enough for two days liao...
Friday, April 15, 2005
I just found out something today after thinking for a very long time n looking around trying to learn more...There are bascially many differences between a guy n a gal...to make it click between them certain understanding have to at least be made understand so that they will have a lasting relation...looking around me n from other sources i can conclude just a lil about the differences...some of the typical differnces are like that the saying that guys are suppose to be like considered not being able to feel the hurt n pain dat gals do...that is by far so much from the truth...a guy feel the same thing as a gal do be it being hurt or happy but the problem is that guys are expected not to show it...there is just this unkown rule dat says guys cannot show their hurt or it will be seen as a sign of weakness...thats bullshit to me...being able to show ur emotions just shows that guys are onli human...guys are not an entirely differant species...gals seem to be expecting guys to be able to know wad to do all da time but to guys many of them will end up being confused n afraid to do the wrong thing so as not to hurt gals when they do the wrong stuff...guys have a hard time admitting that they need help...this is practically true for all of dem...there is the pride,the embarrasment of being unable to solve their own problem n dat to look for help is a sign of failure n being teased at...these are just some of the reasons y guys tend to be more gaurded wif their emotions n feelings...ppl always expect the guys to make the first move...but how hard is it to actually do so...when a guy have feelings for a gal...the first reaction will often be wierd...gals normally look up to guys to be in control of everything so it will put more pressure on guys to take the first move n make it right...many a times the fear of failure looms n just force the feeling to have to be suppress due to pressure from many differant sources...
Another rule is that it seems like gals are allowed to look at other guys n comment but when a guy does dat he gets hell from the gal or just makes the gal angry...It just doesnt seem fair dat gals get to become more "loose" in a sense n dat guys can onli focus on one gal...things should be equal for both sides...if a guy can take out his hundred percent n place everything on the gal that he likes the gal ought to be able to do so too...gals complain bout guys watching n flirting wif other gals without realising dat they themselves watch other guys many more times than guys watch other gals...(THIS ARE FACTS FROM A BOOK I READ!!) Guys have feelings dat can be hurt when a gal does dat but as usual...the rule that says cannot show it..it will be a sign of weakness...an embarassment if it is shown causing the guy just to take it all by himself...the guy will onli feel the pain by himself n end up gaurding his feelings to himself more in order not to be hurt as much again...but by doing so the gal assumes that due to this there have to be something wrong between them n end up making the realtion drift further apart when they get upset or unhappy because of the response...It will take a guy to understand how it feels...there is no other way it can be done...Instead of reactin this way...both sides should just work more on the future instead of keep looking back at the mistakes n wallowing in it...there are bout to be friction n a lil disagreements in a relation...no one can vouch for a smooth sailing...but after the bumps if all goes well...the feelings between the two indivduals will become stronger after knowing wad to do so as not to cause anyone to be hurt again...this is how it keeps it going...
The reason y i got wraped up in all dis guys stuff thingy vs gals was after reading a book today dat is very useful in telling many stuffs about this sort of stuffs...plus the fact on some personal problems dat i went through a while ago which i wont want to relive again makes it more significant to me dat the differences should be shown...Im not trying to list or blame gals in this post or anyone...im just comming to a conclusion after being backed by evidence...treat this as an informative piece of advice or information...anythign u want then...
P.S : i think dat if this topic comes out as compo for english paper i will do quite fine dont u think so?? :P after all i got his idea from a compostion dat i was doing :D
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Life is one word dat sums up everything that we are...we live for...live on...everything...In life there are so many things to do n go through...so many obstacles and problems to cope wif...is dis wad it is suppose to be??to work our ass off till in the end when its time to go we just go?...Im not going to go figure that much out...i just need to focus on wads on my hand now...words are easy...words are cheap...but many a times words can hurt u so bad dat u just wish u never lived...many ppl say things that hurt ppl...sometimes knowing it while most of the time without knowing...its at those time dat ppl get to know the real u...wad u are thinking n how u feel...i wished i never knew dat now...for the knowledge onli brings about more pain n hurt me even more...i never wanted a lot...but i guess others sees it as too much for them...others comments i can dun care but when it comes right from the source...it hurts all da way to hell man...to have ur feelings being admitted just to have it dashed again cause of doubts by the opposite..to want to show ur feelings but yet is considered just a fren...but when u dun show it u get blamed...wad is the right thing to do den?...sometimes i wonder if i would be better off keeping everything to myself n not admiting my feelings...but i dun think dat will be the right thing to do anyway...i have been brought up many times before...just to be dropped from the top all da way down smashing...each time worse den before...am i realli destined to have a fate like dis??Am i supposse to live my life going through this always??Y cant things be simple n easy like those in fairy tales...y cant there always be a happy ending??...
Getting to be very emotional dis days...feelings overun me n take over me many a times...most of it are those of anger n frustration...school gym has been closed for the forth day in a row...haven been able to go during recess to work it off...maybe dats y i have energy to spare and need to find a target to let it out on...timothy was fighting wif clement teo today...reason im not sure but just as i was walking to buy drinks both of dem started fighting in front of me...i got the best view of it all but find it distasteful the way they are fighting...scartching n grappling each other like little kids who have just learnt how to fight...i will say dat if u want to do it den do it a proper way...dun disgrace urself n others by trying to act big but end up looking dumb...learn how to fight before u go around fighting ba...went to fitness corner today cause gym was closed...on my way there wif felix n ming yi there was dis dumb ass sec three guy who was tilting the log preparing to tip it over...stupid of him to do so n i was glaring at him yet he still have the stupidness to do it...unfortuanetly there was a puddle of mud water at the base of the other side n when the log hit it the water splashed all over...ming yi gave a warning but was too late n i got hit by the mud water...at that moment i totally was damn pissed off...maybe its just wad i have been going through for the past few days or manybe is kena influenced by the fight between timothy n clement...i think i used some !#$%^&~ words n the next thing i know i went up to the guy n slapped him across the face (although i think its too soft but ming yi n felix was like saying the sound is very loud)...i believe at that time i was looking for a fight n had a good chance to vent all my suppressed feelings on dat stupid guy...that guy still can ask me wh y i slapped him like F him man...is he stupid or retarded??I tell it in his face not happy settle it den but dat cowardy bugger although wif his frens out number me two to one dun dare to...worthless shit...end up have to go try do pull ups n did some logging to take out my frustration...another chance wasted to let out my feelings...should have just bashed him over instead of taunting him wif dat slap...feeling very pissed off n in a bad m00d all da way...i think at this rate im gonna revert back to my old ways of being in primary school where i go around beating ppl up n bullying again shits...have to do something bout my temper...dun want to go back the same route dat took me so long to get out of...ming yo was commenting to felix telling him dat he should stop training me or else when i grow even stronger i might become worse n go about beating everyone up...after hearing dat i grew worried n considered wad he said...maybe he is right...will i be able to control myself if i continue to train n when im stronger than the rest will i abuse my strength when i lose myself to my feelings???Currently now i still can be keep in check cause there are still ppl stronger than me but wad will happen when i finally become strong enough to overcome dem...will i become a thug dat will go around beating ppl??i certainly hope not but sometime emotions just get the better of u...must learn to cope n control it den...
Today our class threw water bombs down int othe multi purpose court today at those playing soccer...all of a sudden felt like joing dem den ended up throwing one as well...although im ashamed to admit it but by doing so n causing them to be wet...i felt so much better taking it out on dem instead...shall not turn to doing that anymore...its wrong of me to relieve my frustration at the expense of others...had maths test this morning...did it till the time is just nice when i put down my pen the bell rang...hope i can pass dis time....dun like to fail anymore wif the prelims comming closer n closer by the day...
Shall try to concentrate on my school work n workout as much as possible in the gym to forget everything else...although the heart is hurt...time shall heal my wound n hopefully bring me back to normal...
Pissed/depressed/sad/sick
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Life is horrible at times...especially when comming home to a family dat is constantly quarrelling n arguing...dis morning staying at home is like a war zone...second sis had a fight/arguement wif my bro...grandmother vs my mum...dad is in a bad mood taking it out on us n giving us faces like we were the one who cause everything that is wrong to happen to him...eldest sis had something agaisnt me...everybody at home is now in a cranky mood...im no exception...when situation like dis occurs normally i will try to stay out as long as possible before comming home but now im getting scolded for going out...when i try to tune everything out by going to train i will get it from my mum n grandmother bout wasting my time,money,energy etc...y cant they understand dat building up my body through training is a good thing...i can get to keep myself fit...train up mental discipline...destress...n very importantly dun have to be at home to listen to all the stupid arguments n quarrels going on...when i go out to libary to study i got doubted by everyone in my family dat i actually studied outside...all of them thinks that i go out all da time just to have dun n ejnjoy myself...do they even know y i choose to study outside rather than staying at home??How will one be able to study in a house wif conditions like dis...
Stress is doubling wif each passing days drawing forward the comming of the prelims n chinese o lvl...tend to lose my temper easily this days...lack of rest is driving me up the wall...ahhh how i wish can just take a holiday from everything n come back to continue after a good rest but guess dis is kinda impossible at this timing so have to push on...at least softball is not giving me problems now...batting has at least regain a lil back n performance is doing better now...maybe after training a lil extra fittness helps =) we won tp jc on sat played two sets against them...both we won first set 12-2 second set was around 10-8...first time i played two games in one shot without resting...its qutie physically challenging though...after match went ot kfc to have lunch before going to gym straight after that...was feeling quite full n all so decided to walk from the kfc all da way to the national stadium where the gym is at...blistering heat nearly roast me alive man...met felix there n he say train chest so did the same sets he did other than mine was lighter n easier cause i have not gotten my form yet...somehow onli felt a lil aching onli not the sort that will get if train till extremely tired...must be cause i did not do enough i guess...after that went to do a lil legs thingy and am happy dat i can now reach the same as felix they all on the leg machine thingy...from my first time of 50kg to 80kg to finally 110kg...am going to push harder to do better...but need rest for like one week to give legs time to recover back or else its gonna be useless dats wad felix said...find dat nowadays my time spent in the gym is some of the most relax time for me dis days...went ot marine parade libary to study den went home tired out from the whole day...
Food intake dis days have increased for me...eating much more than i use to after i started training...protein needed to build up so more food have to be consume...famlily keeps complaining dat im eating too much...wad can i do to make them understand the need...if train without the food will also be equiviant to zero...but since they are against me training so there is very little i can do to make them understand...
Sighs life is filled wif so many problems like such i faced but nevertheless...i believe dat although there are always problems in life..there will also be a solution to the problems in life too...all i need to do is look harder for the soultions to my problems den...
Friday, April 08, 2005
Ahh finally back to posting after so long of abscense...blogg feels so dead...sigh time is certainly getting by very quickly these days...cant seem to grab hold of it n use it fully...always on the shortage of time...but nvm shall try to make time den...first few days of the weeks were quite sucky though...failed my emaths second restest when i forgotten to study for it...stupid mrs chan have to call parents then my parents was angry at me cause of dat...now dunno when my dad is gonna settle the core wif me...haiz sad sia...msn still having the problem cause dunno how 2 reformat the com n reinstall everything...lost the disc thingy i think...darn it...match was postpone to dunno when due to rain so i went gym instead =) but before i can even leave school DK have to catch me for my shirt untuck den actually wanted to make me n guava stay back until five...stupid guava still can call DK ridiculous which onli made him more angry -.-...luckily i made him apologized then he finally let us off den went wif felix to gym train a lil...ahhh long way for me to train till i reach the standard of them but shall work hard on it n not give up...perserverence shall pay off i believe n i will prove to all who did not believe in me dat i can achieve wad i set out to do so...found that legs seems to be easier to train n concentrate den on arms for me...maybe cause i play basketball got train a lil legs before...shall work hard on it...
Many ppl have differant views on me training up but shall only listen to those that are constructive...those that are meant to put me down shall be ignored...the results of training shall be mine n not them so should not realli be bothered by them...getting to be addicted to gym training liao after going to school gym for like 2 weeks non stop during recess is becomminga habit dat i do not wish to stop...the aches n fatigue dat comes after training shall be the the sign of working hard...after all no pain no gain so have already started to look forward to feeling tired n aches when train...felix say that should not train the same part of the body daily n must give it rest instead...maybe dat will explain y i could do inccrease set of 10 from 70 to 110 pounds on the leg press machine thingy but can onli do up to 100 pounds the next day...wish school gym will be open longer n after school so dat can have more chacne to train...have been doing not bad on my protein intake diet...6 slices of wholemeal bread which is 5.5g of protein per serving = 16.5g...3 eggs = 10g of protein...milk which is 4g per 100ml = 20g plus last but not least chicken breast 300g =75g of protein...total intake a day will be close to 101.5g of protein a day which is not bad although still didnt hit the required amount but shall suffice for now cause haven hit super intense training so should be enough...recieve some scoldings for "wasting" so much money on food alone but dun care...maybe will take measurements starting from next week to see how much improvement i will make every week or two...hope there will be positive results :)
kk enough bout the training talk...still have school stuff such as stupid sharon tan who is realli the teacher whom i have the biggest problem wif ever!! when i raised my hands to ask question that toot purposely ignored me when i was sitting DIRECTLY INFRONT of her!!!!WTH hack la...gonna ask for transfer to another physics class same as felix since she want to give this sort of attitude to me plus not that here teaching is very good like dat...in fact it sucks so much that more than 3/4 of the class hates it!!....class was a lil evil cause threw water bomb from our level all the way down to the multipurpose courts where ppl are playing soccer just for fun =P ...we won our match against geylang methodist secondary school although i got striked out =( sickening feeling dat it might happen came true...must make it a point not to go gym during recess when i have match after that or just do very little sets dat is not so tiring...dun want it to affect my performance after that...weather these days are totally crapped up...if it is not raining den it will be super hot...ahhh...hall assembly today was quite cool n im sure the highlight was due to the belly dancers ppl mainly the second dancer :D felix was like OMG all da way throughout the whole thing n i wont be surprise if he was drooling though :P went to starbucks to study at marine parade wif sochenda n her fren nicole who keep distracting us from studying... -.- but nevertheless i learnt somethings bout chem n many thanks to u sochenda for teaching! :) went to walk around at parkway after studying till like four i think n i went by the store that sell weights...noticed the prive n decide that i shall save up to get one more to train at home for more efficieny...went home after n decided to update after so long n hence came online after so long to update...ahhha lil tired n n cant rememeber wad other happenings in the week so shall stop here...
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Darn first three months r back n dis mean dat have to work harder now to do well for prelims cause it is gonna be affecting the entering of jcs...sad life for me having to study hard like siao now...hectic life having to go for competition n study at the same time...sometimes things just get out of hands n one of dem will end up getting neglected...want to train more of body but facing lots of problem sia...first of all is the time mangement..running out of time due to o lvl n stuffs but i still want to be able to make myself fitter n stronger...den theres the problem wif gold needed...gold has to be needed to purchase the food thingy dat will help in building up the body if not there wont be much effect to it...sighs...felix place emphasis on the reason for y i am training n commented on it but its realli like dis : no matter wad the reason for training to me as long as u train the same it will be the same...he say must have ur goals well my goal is to become stronger n fitter which is quite similiar to most who train so i dun realli see wads the problem wif the reason n goals stuffs...
My dad has some problem wif me on training too...when he see me doing a lil weights at home he told me off n ask me not to do it n say doing push ups will be enough.. -.- wad the doh...if dats the case den all the gyms in the world ought to close down liao...he is worried that i will get into injury n all but come on..as long as i do it right n all there wont be any problem...funnily now though i ENJOY doing weights n training now...from last time too lazy to even bother to actually enjoying it...like the feel of working out the muscles n after a period of time of training can actually feel the difference in strength n dats the best part of it all...im not gonna listen to my dad n stop...instead im gonna double the training i have been doing...found many positive points of training such as training helps to destress me when i feel stress or pissed off...it helps to train mental discipline which i lack n need...n most important of all...the end result is the best prize of all...getting ur body into a better shape n being more fit hence will allow better performance in sports n makes u look better too =) wif all dis points here i shall push myself harder to work harder then...
April fools day dis year didnt realli do much...onli special to it is that ceyang n nico go fill up plastic bags of water n threw dem out of the window down into the multi purpose court at those playing soccer there...den dey fill up a condom wif water to prank the teacher.. -.- a lil dumb though...went to watch the eye 10 AGAIN just to help jun zhi...sigh second time watching onli enjoyed the funny part of the show cause all the scary part i already know liao...jy n justin they all were saying that they say me jun zhi n meryl at lido but i didnt see dem...they even took picture n show me sia although is back view but can kinda make up wad it is showing...lamo keep calling me n pestering me when im already feeling like a very big lampost between jun zhi n meryl sia...went to amk after dat to buy ball guard n went home after..
Dis morning raining so training was cancelled but went to meet jia yang at PS to eat breakfast den walk about before going home to watch tv...ahh gundam seed is realli a very nice anime cartoon...dang it seems like its ending soon...like have two more episode i think left...must record n watch it...told my mum to get the chicken breast to cook so can give me protein..shall be eating dat everyday from today on...sighs guess its time for me to go study liao work work....till here den...