J I A N
bdate::.17 june'89
age::.17 n older by the day =)
gender::.male.
sch: mshs of the past tpjc of the present
cca::.softball (used to but passout already)but back into it again
Food::. meat n lots of it im a carnivore hehe =P
About me::.
Short-tempered =P sentimental/emotional/forgetful?/growing boy->gentleman =D
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Prelims are just around the corner n approaching wif each day dat past...in less than three weeks the time will come where i would have to face the dreaded exams...darn stress sia...spotted so much more white hair when i was showerin n concluded dat it must be due to the increase stress dat leads to the extra white hairs...sianz studying hard now...but feelin tired easily n gets distracted easily...ahh...
Although prelims are commin still continue to gym as always...cant expect a person to be buried in books 24/7 man...have been slowly tring to up the weights n today for the first time dumbell press touch the "snail" 17.5kg which i have never used before cause its like 2.gk heavier than my normal but could do it quite ok...bench also increase the weight as in first two sets no need assistance totally plus the fact that now second set using increased weight from last time...previously was 11.25kg on each side for second set but now using 12.5kg on each side for second set n can do without assistance..wohoo inch by inch slowly but surely to the goal of benching 15kg on each side without assistance by the end of year...oh n man the chocalate champion nutrition taste so damning good when add with milk man...best i have ever tasted of all i tried before...cant wait to take it tmr too...
I have said before already i guess its time for me to take a less active role n just see den...
My shadow is only one that walks beside me...My shadow's heart the onli thing thats beating...Sometimes i wish someone out there will find me...Till then i walk alone...
Monday, July 18, 2005
Jeez first day of the week today went off on a bad start sia...kena scolding by stupid sharon tan just because i go toilet without asking durnin the change of period den i have to be punnished to stand outside...didnt get to see my physics marks because of dat wth...legs n butt were still hurting after yesterday went to train two times once in the afternoon n once at nite...had to rush the one at nite thought cause we arrived late at the gym n onli had 30 mins or less to train...did legs n chest yesterday dats y legs hurts like nuts...ahhh den tmr is the nafa retest for 2.4km run...oh shit mans...i dint go for the test because of softball competition den how am i going to run now wif my legs still feeling from sunday quads training??...die liao cant even walk properly how to run...dis time realli gone liao...
Stupid sis of mine also...watch the tong xing yuan den say dat im like the daqiu guy who will do anything for the stakes of the company...im like wth...compare me wif this sort of ppl...arghh bloody hell...f nuts la...quite pity the dayang guy though...like the baobei yet still cannot like...ahh....life...
Sighs...is it because i gave too much or wad dat i have been take for granted?sighs...i dunno...mums nagging at me liao time to go bathe n do my stuff den...
FEAR NOT THAT U MIGHT LOVE N LOSE..
FEAR RATHER THAT U MIGHT NEVER LOVE AT ALL...is this true??
Friday, July 15, 2005
Ahh finnish chinese listening today...dang some answers of mine r like differant from so many ppl but hopefully is they wrong n im correct...sorry but this is how it goes every man for himself at the o lvls sia...i pang chance im gonna be a goner den...today waited from 2.15 to 3 den finally start the listening compre sia...so many of us fell asleep in front of the examiner while waitin n have to be waken by the examiner when its around 3 =P
Ahh wad is doen is doen den let the listening be put behind den no point frettin over it now since it aint gonna make no difference anyway...went to do triceps n abs today at kallang after the paper...i didnt know dat triceps make up 2/3 of the arm...i thought it was always the biceps dats y i focus more on biceps den triceps..time to change n also foucs equally or more on my triceps after learning bout dis new info today...ahh triceps r so dang weak sia...its like having to start all over again when i first lifted weights whenever i do triceps cause its so damn weak sia...have to work on it...
Sorri bout yesterday princess but im glad u r not angry at me over it *phew* =D guess u will be going away for the next few days n im gonna miss u when u r gone...u might not feel the same but for me its so wierd whenever i dun call n talk to u n when u r not around its just gonna be so lonely...ahh nvm shall study hard n gym hard durin this time n hope u had a great time on ur vacation :) prelims n o levels are comming so make full use of this oppurtunity to have fun while u still can before heading into serious mugging...take care of urself too i will be waitin for u to come back n dont forget to have fun!!
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Jeez days to approachin prelims are like 31 days sia dang it stress monting sia...maybe dats y my temper has been quite bad recently sia...snapped back at lost of ppl for no reasons n stuff n sometimes just yell out loud in frustration arghhh...lots of stuff to cover in this short period of time n once again i wished i had started studyin earlier although im not sure if i would still rememebr if i actually did dat...but still its a thought...
Tmr is chinese o lvl listening comprehension sia...have to do well for this section to make up for my stupid oral which is horrible sia...heck just gonna give it my best shot den...bought new supplement rececently...15 packs of champion nutrition sia one packet 2 servings 46-52 grams of protein...varies wif the flavour as onli vanilla have 52 the rest such as coco mocachino n chocalate are 46 but taste damn nice sia...especially when add milk taste like chocalate drinks sia wayyyy better than the old yucky one...currently broke sia onli have 10 golds in saving sia but i want to buy my creatine sia...need another 50 bucks...dang it have to save like crazy man...plus the fact i may want to get another 15 packets of the champion nutrition X-X gonna blow a hole in my wallet ahhh...
Today went to do chest at kallang wif terrence at myren they all...did a lil in school already though did dumbell press 16kg 4 sets cuz dats the heaviest we had in our school gym sobs so lousy...today a lil differant cuz went to do smith machine instead of normal free weight den finally for the first time i was able to bench n move wif a 20kg plate on each side although it is due to normal free weight the bar will have another 20kg dats y can onli do 10k+ on each side but today first time do feels quite nice using big plate for once...shall train till i can do big plate for even the normal free weight instead of having to rely on smith machine...working n traing hard for the goal den...
Times realli changed as last time it used to be both thinking of each other but lately was given the feeling dat its onli me or something like dat...sighs...dunno wad is going on but can onli hope for the best as i dunno wad to do nowadays when u choose to be like dis...have been listenin to songs lyrics nowadays more carefully n realised dat there r A LOT of songs bout relations thingy but y is there so little positive type of songs but so many sad ones...sighs...
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Ahh tmr is the chinese o lvl oral for me sia...hopefully can do well in it n secure better results for my chinese...need an A1 for chinese real bad...aiya its the time of the month again to fork out $$ for supplement once more...alamak...gonna take gold from my mum first hopefully she wont blow up another fuss or wad...how i wish i was born rich instead of wad i am now...lots of restriction bein poor like me sia...envy those who got money but although the sayin money isnt everything...money is just MOST of everything...
Watched back to the future rerun on tv again just now...somehow it brings back memory of the past few months...watching the flashbacks in my mind brings about mixed feelings...many things that i never thought would happen happened to me...i still rememeber dat last time when everything was new i would have differant feelings whenever i was about to call u...used to be last time call u just to make arrangement for outings or wad den kinda end up talkin bout other stuff n chattin instead...last time it wasnt just me makin the calls but sometimes it would come as a pleasant surprise hearin u call...nowadays its most of the time just one side though...i could still remember dat in the past used to recieve many msgs in just one day alone n always looked forward to those msgs cuz it does gives the feelin of being special or just the simple thought that someone would be bothered to even take out a lil bit of time n spent it on me...somehow dat feelin is pleasant n dun realli know how to elaborate much on dat other than that...although it changed now...i know dat everything cant always remain the same as the past but sometimes looking at the past i sometimes long for those times dat are gone n hardly being able to replace again...gotten closer from the past but after watching back to the future somehwo made me think dat its not that bad if im given the chance to go back once a while to the past so i could enjoy thsoe times den...wont it be just wonderful?? *sighs wishful thinking*
Used to think dat i would never seriously fall for a girl or wad but....i was still havin this concept of girls being half humans in the past n there has been some changes to my way of thinking already...although sometimes the behaviour of girls still leave me bewildered n confused at times...love maybe is a perception dat is differant n may vary from differant ppl but still....dont realli know wad to say bout it...dun realli believe in gods n stuffs like dat but used it as a figure of speech...
If the whole world dont know n understand wad i feel den at least let the one understand...But if the one cant understand or relate to it den i guess there is still god to know how i feel...
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Long time haven updated my blog liao guess like i dun realli have time to do so nowadays sia...many things have happen...things that have big impact n small on me...my life seems to be changin...dat is one thing for sure...never had to go through so much within such a short period of time but well since it is commin i might as well face it head on...
Gymin now is so-so...haven realli made any big improvement or wad but i shall work hard for wad i want n train hard too...more n more ppl r startin to train liao...first it myren n felix who started the whole gyming thingy until i got caught up in it too...den wei hao came...den jaryl teo,den terrence n desmond lau even came today sia...guess like its catchin on...its good on one hand as wif more ppl to train there will be more trainin partners...but on the other hand facin tremendous pressure to do my best so that i wont lose out to them...after all i started two months liao so i should kinda be ahead n i still want to get better...friggin health is driving me nuts...first i had fever den now havin a prolong cough...tmd i want to quickly get well so dat i can be at my 100 percent sia...sigh...training n working hard den...
My so called "l**e life" as how ben they all will term it is not doing so well i guess...i never knew dat after every arguement n disagreements we had it was such an impact to u...im realli sorri for all the past mistakes i have made n if im given the chance to turn back time i will change it all for the better instead but sadly i cant...i can onli pray n wish dat u can still see the hope in us being together n let me have another chance for me to make up for my wrongs...let me be able to learn from my wrongs so dat i can be the best for u...i know i may not be better than other guys in one way or another...but let me at least try to be better...dun give up or the hope now or even stop for a break...when things stop the inertia will make it harder to get back on track again...i want u to know dat it is not true when u say i get angry at u or wad...the truth is whenever somethin goes wrong i blame myself n others for wad happen but i was never angry at u...whenever there was a period of silence its because im tryin to make sure dat the next time the same mistake wont happen again...dis u might not know or believe but its realli the truth....
My frens r telling me dat im a gonner in dis n stuffs like dat...but i refuse to give up now...i was never a quitter n never will be...things that i hold value to me r hard for me to let go...so when it comes to u being the most important thing of all...its needless to say dat unless i have given everythin i had n failed,i wont give up on us...all im askin for is u to hold on to the hope...dun give up...let me show u dat there will be a happy ending for us...let me relight ur hope n spirit...
I know dat although i may be willing n all on my side...these sort of things must be a two sided thingy...if after everythin u still think dat its realli so impossible for us den i hope u will make the end swift n fast for me even though i pray n hope against havin to go through it but i just need to know wad u want the future to be...its all in ur hand now n i can onli hope against hope...wish against all...
Things were never meant to be this way, I never thought there will be this day... When i have to be caught up like dis... But as long as there is hope left i will go for it... Other wise just break my heart once n for all... Dun leave me dangling there confused n hurt... Wadever it is u know how much i still love u n hope dat there will be a chance for us...