To not know wad to do but know that there is something that is needed to be done...a glimpse of hope here n there but like always the shutter shuts down the beams of hopes n leave darkness in its wake...how i wished there wasnt the first false hope given dat causes more hopes to rise...to be brought up but to fall from it...how many ppl wil understand how it feels??Im now helpless...not being able to do anything on my side to change anything...emotions n feelings have to hide in myself so as not to go through the feeling again..."
aint no one in the globe i would like to see,the gal dat made me so happy but now so lonely..." everytime i hear the song lonely by akon...just could relate to wad its about...sighs...cant be help anyway...life is like dat used to it by now...with nothing dat is in my control now...wad else can i do??
Prelims start tml...english paper one to set things off...some reason just dun feel anything for this test now...too many thoughts occupying my concentration...too many feelings i have to deal wif...stress getting more n more...wonder how long i can keep dis up...feeling so weary...just wished i can take a long rest away from everything...sighs...guess like cramming the books to study is the onli way now...shall try my best to just focus everything on studies n gym...rest of the stuffs will block it out den...no choice but to since its no longer my choice...
Went to parkway today to get protein supplements for the first time wif felix...guess like dis is the turning point for me as i had initially planned to onli start using them onli starting from june but since nowadays going to gym very frequently to workout,destress n forget bout everything so decided heck shall just do it now...since im going to do it anyway sooner wont hurt...wasted a whole lot of my gold though so currently super broke but guess like its a sacrifice dat i have to pay den...gym is becoming a place where i enjoy going most throughout the days...the onli thing dat keeps me going on...i guess i got stuck on it n now using it as a motivation for the rest of my stuff it has somehow become a new path for me...if all fails me like it is starting to i guess there is always the gym i can turn to after all its the onli thing dat has not yet to betray me in anyway...