Once again when i think that there is a glimmer of hope n chance for me it is dashed again...to be feeling so happy for the past few days but den to suddenly just drop to being hurt once more...i have already express my feelings for u through words n actions but i guess im still not worthy for u...i let myself be fooled n toyed wif until in the end im still on the losing end...
I thought that today was going to be a good day where i will be able to enjoy the time spent together but unfortunately u did wad it takes to make sure it never happen...i was bein myself at the startin but u jus dun seem to like it or acknowledge me being there...when i was by ur side u would den go off wif others n leave me there...i try not to feel hurt at first that when im makin n taking the initiative to start things at first these sort of things happen as i thought maybe after a while it will stop...but it didnt...everytime i do something the same thing happen till i totally just lost hope n gave up all together...
I realised dat u onli came to find me n ask bout me when u had enjoyed urself or when the people u r wif r like not wif u den would u think of me n come to me...i have become somethin for u to fall back on n used when u need company n when u dun need me u just dump me one side without thinkin...i dunno wad i did wrong to deserve this but it realli hurts...it is so hurtin to be treated this way n i jus try not to think bout it throughout the whole performance...
Den u go around tellin ppl that im ignoring u n stuffs but who is realli doing wad to whom now...everyone asked me wad is goin on n all but how am i to explain to them? The girls will not understand how i feel cause they are girls n im a guy...the guys wont understand either cause they r not in my situation...it was so bad that i just wanted to call my frens n talk to them on the phone instead of just watchin the performance wif u guys...too bad my phone was low on batt n i had to endure it all by myself...
I cant sleep now being botherd by the thoughts n all dats y i came to blog instead of just lyin around n tossin in my bed in the middle of the night...its jus not fair...y is it dat everytime i try my best but i jus dun seem worthy or good enough for u...